Coming Soon
“Maya! I was so excited to read the poetry of your soul and here I come to find you’ve only teased me. A writing section with a 'Coming Soon’ post? I thought you cared about your fans. I thought you loved us…”
Despite my roaring fear of intimacy, I DO love you. And I appreciate you. I mean, really, not only did you come to my website but you actually clicked around it? I’m flattered. Reader, believe me, I would apologize but my therapist (who I have not spoken to in two years) said that I moralize neutral behaviors and should absolve myself of anxieties surrounding my need to over-achieve. So I will not apologize for not having something ready for you to sink your teeth into. Did Samantha Irby launch her blog, Bitches Gotta Eat, with ample high-quality pieces ready to go? I don’t know, but probably not. Did Shonda Rhimes walk into her Netflix pitch meeting for Bridgerton with the show’s concept even minimally thought out? No!* Because she’s Shonda freaking Rhimes god damnit, she can do whatever the fuck she wants. And I’m Maya Mothaf’in Versace Armstrong, Gunston Elementary School Bus Patrol Captain ‘08-’09, and if I want to launch a Squarespace site (#sponcon) with a soft-launch instead of the groundbreaking personal essay that I meant to write, then that’s my (morally neutral) business!
“Fine. Your sprawling, grammatically incorrect rant has stayed my fury for now. But is this self-defensive composition what I should expect from you? It’s hardly a treatise on the current moment.”
Proper punctuation is a lie upheld by those lacking the theatrics to read aloud as God intended.
Self-defensive!?
idk, maybe. I minored in non-fiction creative writing which is basically just Facebook posts for people who smoked cigarettes during study abroad. My oeuvre is wide and thematically inconsistent. What’ve you got to lose by sticking around to see what comes next? Chances are you’ll like it.
“Meh, that’s not exactly a strong closing argument.”
Let’s leave strong closing arguments for the alternate dimension Maya who listened to her mom and went to law school, shall we. PEACE.
*unsubstantiated
